I have always wanted to keep this blog anonymous. It was where I could come and write shizzle. Say whatever I wanted without being judged. Somethings just enter my head and I have to get them out. Plus I love writing...
... So what did I go and do. Tell my best friend. Now I've ruined it for myself all because of my lack of ability to keep a secret. I have verbal diarrhea. I can keep other people secrets but never ever ever my own. I am an over sharer. I even showed it to her. And watched her judging eyes read through it. And now I have ideas for blogs and have even written them but I just can't bring myself to press publish. I just envisage her sitting there, reading it and thinking what a self indulgent twat. She even said, "Aren't you scared nobody is reading it?" And honestly I wasn't. But now I am!!
Now nothing I write is funny enough or interesting enough as I know someone I know is potentially reading it. I have screwed myself over.
Does everyone tell people that they blog? Do they just not care what people think? Where do you get this confidence in what you write? One day I would love to write a book but how could I ever do that if I can't even show my best bud my blog? I wish I didn't care but I just do. I wish I could turn back time and keep schtum. I was having so much bloggering fun until Saturday and now I'm just full of massive insecurities.
Now I am going to force myself to publish this to get back on that proverbial horse otherwise I never will and less then a months blogging is just a little bit pathetic.