So my cunning idea is to have water fountains stationed around the underground to quench people's thirst in the busy rush hour. But here’s the fun part. Instead of water it would spray out delicious, cold, refreshing vodka. All the commuters in the morning, instead of being vile and grumpy, would be happy and friendly and let you on the tube first, they might even want a little chinwag whilst the train is undoubtedly delayed. In fact I might just write a letter to Boris to suggest it. He’s always trying to improve the London transportation system. My money is on that this would be more popular than his Barclays bikes. It's a sure way to be re-elected.
If my argument above doesn’t convince him, I suggest he watches this video! of a classic example of a drunk guy making everyone's day more amusing. Imagine your mornings if there was lots of people doing this up the escalators. It would certainly cheer me up no end. And the applause just for making it to the northern line would make you feel like a champ.
If you haven't watched it. Why the devil not? Watch it NOOOOWWWWW!!! Watch it till the end. It's worth it. Pinky promise!